I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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