At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize