I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Actions speak louder than pants.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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