Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize