Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Houston, we have a blender
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
this is an emotional support booty call
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
