I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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