Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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