Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize