Im at strip club and am horny
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
pop tarts are not kleenex
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
