whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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