The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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