hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
