I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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