When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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