i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
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