i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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