Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
