currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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