Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize