We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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