and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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