Her vagina should come with caution tape.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
