SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
you made out with another girl for some wings
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
