Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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