after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
