ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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