hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
