I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
