it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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