is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
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JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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