i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
