sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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