if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Come see our sink grown plant.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
