bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
