Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
