I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
