tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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