May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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