She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
