I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
