Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
