yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
