Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
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That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
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How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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