Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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