just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
