I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
