I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
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The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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