Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize