I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
