sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
