Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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