I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Two words: blizzard sex
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
