Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Pooping to opera.
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