you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize