I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
I'm just looking out for you.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.