Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.