I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
