I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
