Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
