I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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