chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It's rum buckets o'clock
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
