Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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