Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize