We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
