The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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