Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
