I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize