If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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